Lemon Aid
Eleanorr1gby's Guide to Writing Successful Lemons
By: @Eleanorr1bgy
Writing sex scenes for fanfiction (or lemons, as they're popularly
called) can be a bit of a challenge for the unseasoned writer. One
always runs the risk of going too far, or not going far enough. The
truth is, with every “lemon” you write, you become better and better
at it, but there are a few hard and fast rules one must follow.
Rule Number 1: Just because you're a virgin, it doesn't mean you can't
write a sex scene.
If you have a vivid enough imagination to even sit down and write any
sort of fiction, then that imagination will serve you well enough to
pull off a believable sex scene (assuming, of course, you follow the
rest of the rules). If you really find yourself stuck, a good way to
get past this and get the creative juices flowing would be by watching
a few movies that have really good love scenes in them. Personally, I
recommend The Notebook, The Blue Lagoon, Cruel Intentions, Dirty
Dancing, and Shakespeare in Love, for starters. They have some really
epic love scenes that will definitely give you a jump on starting that
dirty imagination.
Rule Number 2: There is a lot more to sex scenes than giving a play-by-play.
I don't really know anything from a man's perspective, but from a
woman's perspective, the brain does not shut down during sex. There's
a lot going on behind the scenes. Accurate descriptions of what's
going on are good, but too much focus on that and it becomes dull and
mechanical. If you really want to make a love scene GREAT, you should
also focus on what the characters FEEL and THINK, and not just what
they're doing.
Rule Number 3: Choose your words wisely.
What you choose to call certain anatomy is almost as important as what
you choose to do with said anatomy. One wrong slang word can render
the entire scene cheap and meaningless. In the other direction, using
clincal terms can also send you on the road to disaster. In my
experience, it's best to use vaguely descriptive words. Words like
“manhood”, “womanhood” “sex” (referring to a body part, not the act)
and the like are okay. “Vag”, “pussy”, and my god, the dreaded
c-word...are NOT.
The one exception to this rule is writing from a male character's
point of view. Guys are naturally a little bit more crude than girls
for the most part, so it's generally acceptable to have a guy refer to
his own parts in a less refined manner. This goes for boy parts only.
In my opinion, using slang terms for female anatomy usually produces a
cringe-worthy result.
Rule Number 4: Proper Functions and Realism!!!
This is one of my biggest irks when it comes to sex scenes. I can't
tell you how many people just seem to be absolutely clueless when it
comes to anatomy of the human body. One more than one occasion I have
read sentences similar to this:
“He shoved his manhood into her clit, and she moaned.”
Um, what? That's kind of...physically impossible. It not only screams
“inexperienced”, but also “I totally failed 7th grade Sex Ed”. If
you're gonna have your characters doing things with body parts, you
better make damn sure you know what that body part is, what it's for,
and physical limitations, i.e. your male character will probably NOT
have a 12 inch penis, women do not have prostates, and nothing can be
shoved inside a clitoris.
Rule Number 5: If your characters do anything out of the ordinary,
you'd better have an explanation or a back story to cover this.
The internet is a vast cornucopia of knowledge that will expose one to
some of the most outrageous sexual predilections known to man, but
that doesn't mean you should use them, unless you can come up with a
plausible explanation as to why.
For example, in the first Ballad of Sam and Freddie, a prevailing
theme in the story focuses on the fact that Sam and Freddie have a
tendency to get a little too rough with each other in the sack. I did
this for a reason. Most of it was because on the actual show iCarly,
those two have been poking, prodding, insulting, and messing with each
other for years. It gave me a good jumping off point, but I wanted to
go deeper and expand it a little bit. The show gives off hints and
clues that Sam comes from an abusive or neglectful home, and Freddie
is a bit of a sheltered mama's boy who rarely gets the chance to feel
capable, responsible, or in charge.
Instantly, I now have a case for Sam having an issue with
vulnerability, and Freddie having a control issue. Put the two
together, and we can have some really interesting sex scenes that
serve not only as entertainment, but a way to explain the character's
issues and give them a method to deal with it. Freddie can force Sam
into being vulnerable to show her that he's not going to hurt her, and
Sam can allow Freddie to be in control so he doesn't feel so weak and
helpless. Find a way to weave a personal issue of a character's into
their sex life, and you now have a compelling scene that can be used
as a vehicle to further the story, instead of just something to fill
up space or pull in more readers.
Rule Number Six: Practice, Practice, Practice!
Your first lemon will probably suck. That's pretty much a fact. You
will revise it a hundred times, maybe even start over from scratch,
but don't give up! Read other stories for ideas, but careful about
stealing other writer's style and “turn of phrase”. It's annoying, and
doesn't help you grow as a writer. What does help is PRACTICE!!!
Just keep it up, and before long you'll be a regular Danielle Steele
of your chosen fandom.
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